What's different about eating in China?

A table of dishes, not a plate each

Chinese food is not ordered per person. A Western meal gives everyone their own main; a Chinese one puts a set of dishes in the middle and everyone takes from all of them. So the arithmetic is different too: you are not choosing your dinner, you are assembling a table — something with meat, something green, something hot, something mild, one with broth.

A rule of thumb that works well: about one dish per person, plus one or two. Two people order three dishes and a soup; four or five order five or six; beyond that, keep it roughly half meat and half vegetable, and one soup for the table. Portions are smaller than a Western main course — the point is to order several and taste them all.

Two details that catch people out:

• Rice is ordered and charged separately, by the bowl, for a few yuan. It does not come free with the dish.
• Cold dishes and soups are small. Do not read soup as a full course — it is a rhythm, not a plate.

The water is free — and it is hot

This is the most immediately visible difference.

In most Chinese restaurants, a pot of tea or hot water arrives when you sit down, free, and it gets refilled. The menu often has no line for water at all — not because it is not served, but because it is not charged for, so there is nothing to list. If you are used to paying for water in a restaurant, this takes a moment to believe.

And it is hot, in every season. In summer too: hot water is what people here drink without thinking about it. If you want it cold, ask — most places will manage — but what arrives by default is hot.

One regional difference you are likely to meet: in the west and on the plateau — Sichuan, Gansu, Qinghai — free hot tea is close to standard, and not offering it would be the odd thing. In parts of Guangdong and the Yangtze delta, tea may be charged per head as a "tea seat charge", a few yuan, listed separately on the bill.

Bringing your own drink: nobody here minds

This one runs the opposite way from home, and it is worth saying plainly.

In Europe, restaurants generally do not accept a drink you bring in. The drinks are a large part of what the restaurant earns, and turning up with your own bottle is not really done. Wine makes it harder still: you are expected to ask in advance, and where the restaurant agrees it will usually charge corkage — in Italy roughly 10–20 euro a bottle, in France the droit au bouchon, 2–20 euro, in the UK what is called BYOB. And most places simply decline. Soft drinks and bottled water are no easier, because that is exactly what the restaurant is there to sell you.

In China, none of that applies. Walking into a restaurant with your own water or soft drink is not an issue. You do not need to hide it and you do not need to ask — sit down and drink it. The menu has no line for water because water is not charged for in the first place.

If what you brought is alcohol, the rules get finer:

• Some places will mention a "corkage" or an "own-drink service" charge. That charge does not hold up. "No outside drinks" and "corkage fee" are one-sided terms imposed by the restaurant, which take away your right to choose what you buy; under Chinese law — the Civil Code on standard-form terms, and the Consumer Rights Protection Law on the right to choose — they are not enforceable. You can refuse the charge, or simply decline to pay it.
• But a clearly priced, stated-in-advance "service charge" or "private-room charge" can be levied — provided you were told and you knew.
• One exception: Muslim (halal) restaurants. They generally serve no alcohol and do not welcome drink brought in. Respect that and you are welcome.

Small charges that may appear on the bill

Some Chinese bills carry a few lines with no Western equivalent: a tea-seat charge, a cutlery charge, a napkin charge, a wet-wipe charge. Usually a matter of a few yuan, per person or per item.

How to treat them:

• Stated in advance, printed on the menu or on the table: pay it. That is how the place prices.
• Never mentioned, appearing only at the till: you can ask, and you can refuse — a consumer is entitled to know what they are paying for before they buy it. In recent years a number of places have been told to stop charging for these, for instance not disguising cutlery sterilisation as a "tea-seat charge".

In short: what you can see, pay; what you cannot see, ask once.

Everything arrives at once

A Western meal has an order: starter, soup, main, dessert, one after another. Chinese food does not work like that. Cold dishes land first, hot dishes follow, and several end up on the table at the same time, eaten in whatever combination you like; the soup may come midway or at the end; rice and noodles can be topped up whenever.

So do not worry that your dish has not arrived while others have finished — at a Chinese table every dish belongs to everyone.

A few unwritten rules for chopsticks

Not law, but worth knowing, and it shows you looked it up:

• Do not stand your chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice. That is how incense is offered to the dead, and it is the one to avoid.
• Do not tap your bowl or plate with them — that used to be a beggar's gesture.
• Do not point them at a person, or wave them about while you talk.
• Do not dig around in a dish for the piece you want — take what you touch. Better places put out serving chopsticks: use those to move food into your own bowl, then eat with your own.
• Do not cross your chopsticks, do not lick them, and do not spear food with a single one.

Who pays: the host, not the table

This is the one visitors most often get backwards.

Among friends or colleagues, one person pays, rather than everyone splitting. The unwritten rule is roughly: whoever called the meal, whoever is older or more senior, whoever is hosting. Someone quietly settling the bill before the end is completely normal; sometimes two people compete to do it.

Splitting evenly has become common among younger Chinese, but at a table with an elder, or with a clear host, one person still pays.

As a guest you do not have to fight for it. Having been invited, thanking them is the right response; returning the meal some other time is a different matter.

The European rules you can leave at home

These are rules that matter in restaurants in Italy, France or Spain — and that simply do not apply here. Knowing which habits to drop saves you a small amount of unnecessary etiquette:

• You do not wait at the door to be seated. In Italy or France you wait to be shown to a table; here, in a noodle shop or a small place, you sit down wherever is free. A busy restaurant may hand you a numbered ticket and call it out — but nobody will think you rude for choosing your own table.
• Your hands do not have to stay on the table. The French rule — wrists on the cloth, never in your lap — does not exist here.
• You do not pay for water, and you do not choose "still or sparkling". In Italy, asking for water means ordering and paying for a bottle; here it is free, hot, and refilled.
• There is no coffee clock. In Italy a cappuccino after a meal marks you out as a tourist; nothing of the kind applies here — though China is not really a coffee country in the first place.
• Your cutlery does not have to talk. Placing knife and fork crossed or parallel to signal "not finished" or "finished" is a European code. Here, chopsticks go on the bowl or the rest, and that is the whole of it.
• You do not round up for a tip. In Germany a 5–10% rounding-up is customary; here it simply is not done.
• And one where China is the easier side: in France or Italy, asking a restaurant to change a dish is received badly, because the kitchen expects to be trusted. Here, "no chilli, no coriander, less oil, no spring onion" is completely ordinary, and nobody is offended.

A few smaller things

• No tipping. What the bill says is the whole of it — see the page on tipping.
• Taking leftovers home is normal and no loss of face; the staff will pack it for you.
• Restaurants are louder than you may be used to. The next table talking loudly is not arguing.
• You will often order by phone: a QR code on the table, scan it, choose on your screen.
• To call a waiter, raise a hand and say something — that is not rude here. Do not wave a finger or snap.

Questions I get on this one

Written from living and working here rather than from a guidebook. Related: do I need to tip · can you drink the water · what everyday things cost · vegetarian, allergies and halal · all essentials